I remember the excitement of being told that next week was half term. Easter holidays, no school for two weeks. Using that time to laze around, see friends and not do homework or coursework until the Sunday before the first day back.
Those were the carefree days.
Nowadays, reality is quite different.
Getting to work on a 'tourist island' during a hot half term, means enduring people carriers of silver haired ladies, all slowing down to 20-25mph to stare at The Water Mill and look at some fields. They seem to forget they are driving at 1/4 of the speed limit, as angry locals (such as myself) try and get on with their lives.
Working in a supermarket on an island that relies heavily on tourism, goes from mildly enjoyable and just about bearable, to stressful, infuriating and downright manic.
Last week, the weather brought what seemed like every tourist on the island, into our small country supermarket. This meant not only did I have to deal with children running around like cats on speed, but also to the morons who don't seem to be able to read signs above the aisles.
"Do you sell sliced bread" was a particular favourite of mine.
As tempted as I was to respond with "No, we are a major UK convenience store chain and the main shop on this side of the island, we don't think bread would be a big seller". I had to say, "Of course sir, this way".
I also found myself holding back from uttering the words "Yes, where it says 'BREAD' above the aisle".
The rare glimpse of the sun and the temperature rising into double figures, also meant I was inundated with people demanding we get BBQs in.
"But why don't you have any in yet?".
Because it's fucking April and the sun has been out for less than 24 hours, I have not had the chance to invent teleportation and get some from the main depot.
I tried in vain to get stock on the shelves. It took me four hours to work bread, because people kept asking for stuff that was amongst the fifty cages of delivery that had just turned up.
Only to then be asked "Why do you not have any bread left?"
Because people like you, keep sending me around the shop and the warehouse to find a tin of pear halves, when I could be filling the shelves with what the rest of humanity want to sodding buy.
It never crosses the minds of these people, that the reason we are 'empty' is because we have been rammed with holiday makers. Locals stand in the queue, tutting because the tourists are in the way, their kids screaming and shouting.
I even had one lady say "Excuse me, your car park is full".
I stood there for what seemed like five minutes, wondering what she wanted me to do about this?
"Um, well, it's because it's half term and the sun seems to have brought everyone out" was the best I could muster.
Fortunately, my radio went off, saving me from having to hear what she had to say.
Then came the weekend.
Nothing prepared me for the stress of Saturday. Maybe it was because I was hungover or maybe it was because the only other team leader on duty was on crutches, either way, I was close to snapping.
"Why do you not have Easter Eggs left?" Said a man who had been complaining about the eggs being out too early for weeks.
It's the day before Easter Sunday. How about organise your life?
It also seemed that hot cross buns were a life and death item. My first job at 3pm was to work the bread, which happened to be near where the buns 'should' have been.
I hadn't even got to the aisle, when someone assaulted me with a trolley and a "Oi, why have you not got any hot cross buns left".
I had people bashing me with trolleys, moaning we didn't have any, kids screaming, old people deciding that the most congested aisle would be the best place to 'catch up' on the two years they hadn't seen each other.
"Oh, am I in your way?"
No, not at all. Two trolleys across an aisle full of people, as I try and navigate a stack of bread nearly as tall as me, isn't a hazard or an inconvenience in the slightest.
I was concerned also, that someone had stuck a 'Tourist Information' sign on either the exterior of the shop or on my back, as people were asking me directions to places all over the island.
"Can you draw me a map of how to get to Ryde?".
Can I draw you a map, showing you how to get somewhere 30 miles away on the other side of the island, whilst putting half my own weight in burger buns? No.
My only high point was giving someone directions to Sainsburys, where I 'accidentally' sent them the wrong way.
To sum up, it was a fun, manic, stressful, busy, tiring and shit week.
Head office and my manager will be happy with the money made, but as for my stress levels, they will take a while to settle down.
This week seems to be shit weather, this makes me smile.
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