Important life lessons (sort of).

This year marks my 9th year of working in food retail. Over the near decade, I have learnt several important lessons.

Here are just a few;

• You will never be able to please 100% of people 100% of the time. So don't bother trying.
• Smiling back at someone who is being utterly obnoxious to you always works.
• Always be aware of the current weather, as this will be the main topic of conversation on a daily basis.
• Despite having Easter Eggs in since New Year, people will still complain when you've sold out the day before Easter Sunday.
• It's almost impossible to explain to someone who doesn't speak English that they are 'too drunk to serve' and that the best way to convey it, is to start mimicking a drunk man with an imaginary bottle and then wag your finger saying "no".
• Despite opening at 10am on a Sunday for the past 9-10 years, people will still queue up at 9:45, wave at the doors, look at you and tap their watches.
• At 16:00 on a Sunday (closing time) there will always be someone who only wants to 'grab a bottle of milk' only to then grab a basket and do their daily shop.
• No matter how many signs you put up around the shop, people will never ever read them.
• No matter where in the shop you want to put stock there will be someone stood there examining a product for 5-10 minutes. 
• No-one ever knows where the eggs are.
• No-one ever reads the signs above the aisles.
• People will use anything to convince you they are over 18. Such as; 'I have kids, I have a car, I have an '18 today' badge on'.
• You will be questioned about store offers, even when you're queuing at the bank and not in uniform.
• People will recognise you when you're sat in the doctors waiting room and ask how you are, which is actually quite sweet.
• If you have a tie, you are automatically responsible for everything the company has done. 

Perhaps the single most important lesson I personally have learnt is;

• Do NOT talk into a croissant as if it's a phone, because when an angry customer storms into the shop demanding to see 'the man in charge', everyone points to the man with a croissant to his ear, and from that point onward it's impossible to be taken seriously. 

I hope there are some lessons here that people can take away and use to assist them in their lives.